Santa discovers gender equality:

"Therefore, I declare this year the first #XXmas. The hashtag so we may unite; the X’s stand for female chromosomes, heavy drinking, and kisses. #XXmas celebrates Christ and Mary. “Little Drummer Boy” and “Wee Trumpeter Girl.” Finally including Three Wise Women in the manger, without whom frankincense and myrrh would have been, at best, socks and frozen steaks."

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